#080 – The King of Illiterature (Reupload)

This isn’t really a post on mental health. It’s a post on my stupidity. I struggle with stuff I paid no attention to in school. I was to busy chasing girls, smoking weed and hanging out with mates. I did the bare minimum to get through each year. For me being popular and the classContinue reading “#080 – The King of Illiterature (Reupload)”

#075 – Discharged!!!

I was finally discharged from hospital yesterday. My time was up. I’d had enough. I saw Gem (psychiatrist) before I left to get my scripts and to catch up before I left for home. As it stands I am taking Clozapine, Lexapro, Invega Trinza, Somac, Atenalol and Nitrazepam. I had to fight for the NitrazepamContinue reading “#075 – Discharged!!!”

#074 – The Paranormal

I’ve been fascinated with the paranormal since I was a kid. There was a television program called “The Extraordinary” that was on one night of the week. I would tape the shows and watch them over and over. You have to remember there was no internet back in those days. The only way for meContinue reading “#074 – The Paranormal”

#071 – I Could Have It Worse

As bad off as I am and I don’t like making comparisons but there are some people doing it a lot harder than myself. The psychiatric ward is a good reminder of this. Over the years I have met so many people with different illnesses at different levels of severity. Most have mental health issuesContinue reading “#071 – I Could Have It Worse”

#069 – The Stigma of Schizophrenia

Have you ever been feeling sad, and someone tells you to get over it? Have you ever been anxious, and someone tells you to just stop worrying? Have you ever been labelled depressed, bipolar, psycho? Have you ever been told your emotions were a phase? That if you tried harder, it would improve? It isContinue reading “#069 – The Stigma of Schizophrenia”

#068 – Hypochondria

I’m such a hypochondriac. As I’ve gotten older it has become worse. As a kid I would like getting unwell because it meant the day off school. These days I worry about every ache and pain. From head to toe I get overwhelmed with the sensation that I’m dying. I’m almost convinced of this. I’llContinue reading “#068 – Hypochondria”

#065 – Alcoholics Anonymous

I’m not a fan! I haven’t been to AA in years and when I was attending it was because I was in rehab and were were all urged to go to meetings (Blog #007)It never helped me in any way what so ever. I would never participate I would just site there and listen toContinue reading “#065 – Alcoholics Anonymous”

#063 – Golconda Avenue

I met Sarah in rehab (Blog #099) in 2013. We formed a relationship and once we finished the rehab program we moving into a rental on Golconda Avenue in Frankston. It wasn’t long before I called things off and soon after Sarah moved out. My brother moved in and that didn’t work well at all.Continue reading “#063 – Golconda Avenue”

#062 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 17

I’m losing patience with some of my fellow residents. Spending  so much time around other nuts can become exhausting I get along with a few people very well. I’ve been socialising with some of the rehab patients too.  There’s on lady who drives me crazy. She has schizophrenia too but she insists on bothering theContinue reading “#062 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 17”

#057 – Alcohol – Part 3

This is a continuation of (Blog #050) This entry will cover where I’m at currently. My last stint without drinking was several months ago. I went a couple of months without a drink with the help of Antabuse (Blog #019) This is the medication that prevents you from drinking. The simple question to ask isContinue reading “#057 – Alcohol – Part 3”

#055 – Schizophrenia or Religious Belief?

For many people religion is one way that we understand the world and give meaning to our lives and certainly religion and spirituality play an important part in many people’s experiences of schizophrenia. For some sufferers religious delusions or intense religiously-based irrational thinking may be a component of their symptoms, for instance they may believeContinue reading “#055 – Schizophrenia or Religious Belief?”

#053 – My Tinfoil Hat

I’m a conspiracy theorist through and through. I know this is sometimes a symptom of schizophrenia but I tend to only believe in conspiracies that are provable. I’m not one of these these people who believes the earth is flat which is a theory that is gaining popularity and I’m not sure if the worldContinue reading “#053 – My Tinfoil Hat”

#050 – Alcohol – Part 2

This is a continuation of Blog #045 which should be read first. I left off with my drinking at work. I got away with this for a long time. I was manager of a department at Coles. This came with some responsibilities including being in charge of around 15 staff members. It could at timesContinue reading “#050 – Alcohol – Part 2”

#040 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 10

I’m starting to wonder what the point of these daily blogs on my activities is. There is little to report on. I was up early.. at about 5am and I didn’t nap. This makes for long days. I’m starting a new sleeping medication tonight to battle my insomnia. Because there is structure and routine inContinue reading “#040 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 10”

#038 – Insight Into My Illness

I think I have good insight into my illness. I’m often reassured by people that I come across as being ‘normal’ and I’m sure they wouldn’t have any reason to believe that I’m different in any way unless they spent some time with me and knew my history. My scars (Blog #29) sometimes gives itContinue reading “#038 – Insight Into My Illness”

#037 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 9

I’m starting to realise that this whole blog is basically for me. It gets very few views and I don’t give out the site address to people I know. It’s like a personal diary. From day one the main purpose of the blog was a tool to keep me busy during the long days inContinue reading “#037 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 9”

#034 – Schizophrenia And The Loss Of Family And Friends

I grew up in Bendigo where I had a great social network. I was reasonably popular and I even had the girls after me. My family moved to Frankston in 1999. I went to Frankston high where I knew nobody. I was a loner who spent his recess and lunch breaks away from the otherContinue reading “#034 – Schizophrenia And The Loss Of Family And Friends”

#032 – Auditory Hallucinations

I get voices. I hear voices and have been attacked by them for a long time. I take two antipsychotic medications to tackle them, along with my paranoia, which takes the edge off but it doesn’t eliminate them. They are almost always there. I can’t remember when I started hearing them? It was well overContinue reading “#032 – Auditory Hallucinations”

#031 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 7

Another day! It’s hard making posts on a day where nothing happened. I saw Gem (psychiatrist) and we had a rather nothing consultation. I wasn’t too interested in talking and he didn’t dig too deep. I wanted to talk to him about going on CBD medication like he had previously discussed but I was toldContinue reading “#031 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 7”

#027 – Schizophrenia and Nicotine

People with schizophrenia smoke up to three times more than the general population and more than most psychiatric populations. Schizophrenia patients who smoke also have higher levels of nicotine in their bodies because they tend to extract more nicotine per cigarette than other smokers. I have been an on and off cigarettes since I was in my mid teens. I goContinue reading “#027 – Schizophrenia and Nicotine”

#025 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 6

There’s nothing to report on again! Today is a public holiday so things are even quieter than usual. My day has consisted of blog writing, nicotine, caffeine and naps. I have been drinking stupid amounts of coffee, Coke and energy drinks. I think I have replaced my alcohol intake with caffeine. It helps with writingContinue reading “#025 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 6”

#024 – Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)

One of my fascinations is dimethyltryptamine or DMT. DMT is arguably the most powerful psychedelic drug on the planet, capable of producing intense hallucinations. Researchers recently surveyed more than 2,000 DMT users about their encounters with ‘entities’ while tripping, finding that respondents often considered these strange encounters to be positive and meaningful. The majority of respondentsContinue reading “#024 – Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)”

#023 – Covid

Gem (psychiatrist) tells me that depression rates and paranoia rates have increased amongst his patients during Covid and people have been doing their consultations over the phone or web. Suicide rates have raised too. I can understand people who have employment but can’t work and in some cases where loved ones can’t get together. IContinue reading “#023 – Covid”

#020 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 5

I went out with my folks, my sister and my nephew today. It wasn’t for long but it was nice to break up the day and get out of the hospital. We went for a drive to a park for my nephew to have a run around. He’s just turned two. I’m never going toContinue reading “#020 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 5”

#017 – Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation

This is a treatment that my psychiatrist keeps recommending. I have mixed feelings. A family friend who suffers greatly from depression underwent the process and swears it changed his life. It’s getting to the point where I am becoming desperate to get on top of my anxiety and psychosis as I can’t keep living likeContinue reading “#017 – Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation”

#015 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 4

Things are quiet. No doctors. No groups. Nothing. A brief one on one with the nurses but nothing over a few minutes. It’s the same story every time I chat with the nurses. I have gone over my history and what I am experience 2 million times. In the early days I would stress about talkingContinue reading “#015 – Psychiatric Admission – Day 4”

#012 – Simplicity is the Key

I didn’t know how to title this blog? Like my head this will be all over the place! I live a pretty simplistic life. I am a strong believer in keeping this as easy and simple as possible. I don’t appreciate activities that put me outside of my comfort zone. I don’t desire things thatContinue reading “#012 – Simplicity is the Key”

#010 – Schizophrenia and Relationships

One of the hardest things for me to get around when it comes to meeting ladies (mostly online) is letting them know I don’t work, I’m on a disability support pension, I have a history of mental illness, I have scars all over my body and I take medications. This is a big pill toContinue reading “#010 – Schizophrenia and Relationships”

#009 – Clozapine – Medication

Wikipedia defines Clozapine as this:“Clozapine, sold under the brand name Clozaril among others, is an atypical antipsychotic medication. It is mainly used for schizophrenia that does not improve following the use of other antipsychotic medications. In those with schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder it may decrease the rate of suicidal behavior. It is more effective than typical antipsychotics, particularly in those who are treatment-resistant” So basically Clozapine is an antipsychoticContinue reading “#009 – Clozapine – Medication”

#006 – Psychiatric Admission – Day Two

 Another day in paradise. There is very little to report on. I spent almost the entire day sitting in the communal lounge staring at my laptop. I’ve been trying to work out this blog website. For something as simple as posting blogs the website is pretty intense. There has been a bit to learn. SoContinue reading “#006 – Psychiatric Admission – Day Two”

#005 – The King of Illiterature

 This isn’t really a post on mental health. It’s a post on my stupidity. I struggle with stuff I paid no attention to in school. I was to busy chasing girls, smoking weed and hanging out with mates. I did the bare minimum to get through each year. For me being popular and the classContinue reading “#005 – The King of Illiterature”

#002 – Psychiatric Admission – Day One

It was a big day. This post is to inform or prepare people for what to expect in a typical first day in a psych ward. I feel I have the authority to write about this as I have had close to twenty of them. I have experience in many medications, consultations with psychiatrists, psychologists,Continue reading “#002 – Psychiatric Admission – Day One”

#001 – Welcome to this Mess!

Welcome to all. As I sit here on my hospital bed I ponder what got me to this place again? Lets get it out there… This is my 14th psychiatric admission in as many years. Where does one start?! Do I begin with my first psychotic attack? My stay in the Intensive Care Unit atContinue reading “#001 – Welcome to this Mess!”