Depending on how late I was up the night before I usually wake in the late morning. My medications make it hard for me to rise and I heavily rely on caffeine so I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks. This is a big vice for me but I need it. I take my morning meds – Atenalol, Somac and Lexapro. Depending on weather I have the house to myself I have been getting into my old ways and make my way to the bottle shop and get the usual. I get my ten beers which gets me through the day. The store opens at 10am and I am usually their first customer. I make sure I don’t have any major commitments for the day as I don’t drink if I have to drive or have a family event. I have a little two year old nephew and I make sure I am sober if I have to be around him as my sister, his mother, made it clear to me that she didn’t want me to drink and interact with him if I was intoxicated. I completely understand this so I don’t drink if he comes around for weekly tea. There is never an issue there. I have many extended family members who are alcoholics, much worse than I so my parents who I live with understand to an extent why I drink as it runs in the family. I handle my alcoholism. If I’m drunk I retire to my room and watch Netflix or Youtube and keep myself away from people.
If I’m not drinking I watch the latest Joe Rogan podcast and try to motivate myself to do some painting. I’ve been quite prolific lately and have produced some canvases that I have been happy with. I am giving them away on my website. All I ask for is for people to pay for the cost it took to create the piece. This is usually a couple hundred dollars so it still isn’t a cheap purchase. I get mixed messages as to what people think and it’s hard to guage if they feel sorry for me or they are genuine interested in what I do. I’m told not to give them away and some people tell me I could make a lot of money if I put them in exhibitions. I enjoy the process of creating them as much as the end product. It’s therapeutic for me. My website is: http://www.davesaville.com.
I try and walk my dog who I love to bits but she’s old and can only make it around the block. Even this is a commitment and I get anxious about leaving the house. It isn’t rewarding for me and I mainly do it to please my folks. I disappoint my olds as they would like to see me do more with my time but I’m content as to how I live my life. I have to live my own existence without without always being out to keep others happy.
I take my night meds: Clozapine and melatonin and I usually pass out about midnight. It’s not uncommon for me to stay up all night. It’s nights like this where I drink on the following day and this helps me drift off and get a few hours. Then the cycle continues. So that’s my usual day!