#068 – Hypochondria

I’m such a hypochondriac. As I’ve gotten older it has become worse. As a kid I would like getting unwell because it meant the day off school. These days I worry about every ache and pain. From head to toe I get overwhelmed with the sensation that I’m dying. I’m almost convinced of this. I’ll get a headache and it means brain cancer, I have pains in my neck, I have wisdom teeth that need to be removed, I stress about the damage cigarettes have caused to my body, I think I have stomach ulcers, I am sometimes certain I have testicular cancer, my liver isn’t in the best of shape because of my drinking and I have a beer gut. 

I don’t do anything to help myself. I smoke cigarettes, I drink a lot of beer, my diet is poor, I don’t exercise and I don’t do medical appointments in fear of getting bad news. I have been due for an echocardiogram for the last six months but because I have some very minor chest pain I am terrified that the doctor will have bad news for me. There is a history of cardio issues on my dad’s side of the family.

The other major fear I have is being put under. I dread the thought of being anesthetised. This scares me more than the actual operation. I know it’s silly and that it is just like being in a deep sleep but this doesn’t ease my fears. Maybe I’m perfectly healthy and all of this is in my head?

Published by aperfecttool83

I'm a 37 year old who lives in Melbourne Australia. I have many interests but I want to base this blog on my mental health. I have schizophrenia, depression & anxiety. I have 15 years experience with psychiatrists and I have had close to 20 hospital admissions. I plan on writing about my delusions, voices, paranoia, depression and how to deal with them psychiatrists :) I really hope this blog can help someone. Please feel free to contact me and I promise to get back to you. Have a nice day!

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