#050 – Alcohol – Part 2

This is a continuation of Blog #045 which should be read first. I left off with my drinking at work. I got away with this for a long time. I was manager of a department at Coles. This came with some responsibilities including being in charge of around 15 staff members. It could at times be stressful. I’m not using this as an excuse as to why I drank but it helped. A couple of people smelt it on my breath and it was reported to the store manager who didn’t make a big deal about it but he brought it to my attention. I told him I would have a beer at the pub with my lunch. I lied! I didn’t tell him I was downing a six pack.

I left Coles soon after all of this so there was no opportunity to fire me. I went to another supermarket where I did the exact same thing. I was never caught out. I am able to play the roll of sobriety well when needed even when I’m well and truly intoxicated. It never occurred to me that I had a problem.

There was never a inappropriate time for me to drink. It didn’t matter what it was I was doing alcohol was always involved. In some circumstances drinking is almost expected of you especially in Australian culture. Births, deaths, weddings, Christmas, holidays, after a long day at work, weekends with mates, while watching the football. I took advantage of all of these but I would also drink alone. I was doing this more and more.

I thought I was safe if I only drank beer and sometimes wine. Very rarely do I drink anything else. I used to drink Smirnoff Black Ice cans but not often. Very occasionally I would drink a bottle of spirits but this has only happened maybe half a dozen times in my life. I always remember my uncle telling me as a teenager to stay on the beer and off the hard stuff and all would be fine. This tuned out to be untrue. All I drank was beer but I was drinking between 6 to 15 stubbies a day. This went on for a long time and I was starting to drink by myself frequently as I had lost my old drinking buddies. I lost all of my friends and a lot of family members mostly from being a drunk.

I feel like a lightweight when I compare myself to some of the people I met in rehab. It wasn’t uncommon for people to drink three bottles of vodka a day! This made my drinking seem like nothing! I’m not sure if this was good for me in that I figured I was fine and my drinking wasn’t an issue to my health or how I got through the day… after all it was just beer!

To be continued…..

Published by aperfecttool83

I'm a 37 year old who lives in Melbourne Australia. I have many interests but I want to base this blog on my mental health. I have schizophrenia, depression & anxiety. I have 15 years experience with psychiatrists and I have had close to 20 hospital admissions. I plan on writing about my delusions, voices, paranoia, depression and how to deal with them psychiatrists :) I really hope this blog can help someone. Please feel free to contact me and I promise to get back to you. Have a nice day!

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