#016 – No Half Measures

I once had a friend who knew me real well who said “You have no half measures do you Dave!” That has always stuck in my head. It’s so true. This has applied to me since I was a kid. Once I develop an interest in something it gets to the point where it becomes fanatical. It is all or nothing! There’s no off switch! This applies to so many areas of my life. 

A current example is my caffeine intake. I don’t sip on a normal strength coffee – I skull a extra strong cup and then make another and than another. I probably drink a dozen cups a day. I also drink coke and I drink the large cans of Red Bull. This also applies to the numerous cigarettes I smoke. There’s no such thing as one or two beers – I drink till I black out. I only drink if I have enough to get intoxicated. 

It sounds strange but I have an addiction to computer downloads. I need to download to the point that I don’t turn the computer off for days and I have terabytes of movies, music, television series and I have a program that downloads and converts YouTube videos which is constantly running. I download stuff I know I will never watch or listen to but I have to have it.

Drug use. When I used to do drugs I would push it to the limit and take triple what my mates were taking. I’m so lucky I was never introduced to ‘hard’ drugs like ice and heroin or you probably wouldn’t be reading this. I can honestly say I never took these drugs, was never around people who took these drugs and I was never offered these drugs. When it came to pot and MDMA that’s a little different. I went through a huge obsession with psychedelics and hallucinogens. I own dozens of books, read all of the literature from Terence McKenna, Timothy Leary, Paul Stammets, Ken Keasy, Albert Hoffman etc. I have consumed my fair share of psilocybin and acid. This was just a phase. I still have an interest in psychedelics, especially dimethyltryptamine, but I pushed the boundaries as far as I was willing to go and like many things – I don’t tread through those grounds any longer.

I went through a DVD collection phase where I was obsessed with collecting as many movies as I could. I spent countless dollars building up a collection of thousand of disks that now sit unused in the attic. 

My latest thing is collecting books. I’m Amazons number one book customer! I read a lot but I can’t keep up with the amount I order. They have to be brand new too and I don’t borrow from the library. I’m quite proud of my collection but at the end of the day there just books! I have also been a prolific journal writer. I have kept journals since 1995. I have dozens of journals that will never be read. They just collect dust. I have spent hundreds of hours working on these. Once I start a new journal I devote all of my time into completing it. Over the last 5 days I have devoted all of my time into creating this blog. If I’m not writing I am thinking about writing. Obsessed once again! 

I recently wrote a blog on Valium. This is another good example of not practising moderation. I would take ten times the prescribed amount.

If only I obsessed over accumulating finances I would be a rich man.

Published by aperfecttool83

I'm a 37 year old who lives in Melbourne Australia. I have many interests but I want to base this blog on my mental health. I have schizophrenia, depression & anxiety. I have 15 years experience with psychiatrists and I have had close to 20 hospital admissions. I plan on writing about my delusions, voices, paranoia, depression and how to deal with them psychiatrists :) I really hope this blog can help someone. Please feel free to contact me and I promise to get back to you. Have a nice day!

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