#012 – Simplicity is the Key

I didn’t know how to title this blog? Like my head this will be all over the place! I live a pretty simplistic life. I am a strong believer in keeping this as easy and simple as possible. I don’t appreciate activities that put me outside of my comfort zone. I don’t desire things that ‘normal’ people want in life. I have some things that are unavoidable like medical appointments and the occasional outing with the family but as a rule I don’t do much. Work is out of the question. I don’t socialise… I don’t have many people to socialise with! I no longer have friends. Mental illness has stripped this from me. It wasn’t long ago that I had a small handful of buddies but I sabotaged relationships. Unfortunately keeping things as simple as possible means severing ties with people who expect my time. Catching up with people is meant to be enjoyable but for me it was a chore. Something I had to do because that’s what people do. The same goes for romantic relationships. So much work is required!

Keeping things simple means financial restrictions. No loans. I don’t need the latest car, the new home, credit cards. Things you own end up owning you. I’m on a disability support pension so most of these things are unobtainable as I don’t receive much. I’m able to save a little but not enough to waste on shit I don’t need. My biggest expenditures are my health insurance, rent, my phone bill, car rego and insurance, website fees, cigarettes (when I’m smoking) and beer. Keeping simple allows beer! My other big expenditure art supplies. I haven’t been too prolific lately but it’s easy to spend five hundred bucks at the art store. A costly hobby! I don’t need a stack of cash but it’s a comfort to know I have the means to pay the bills and have some emergency cash.

I have everything I need. My computers and equipment, a television that never gets used, a car, a roof over my head and food. I have my black Labrador. I’m not struggling.

I look around at some people and wonder how they do it. I love waking up early in the morning and hearing the traffic on the freeway with people on their daily commute. I don’t have to leave my bed. The medication makes it difficult for me to wake and rise but once I’m up the day is mine. No boss telling me what to do. No tedious tasks to be completed. No dealing with idiots. No overtime. I’m not lazy and if it’s something I enjoy doing I’ll put one hundred percent into it. This is apparent in my artwork and it even shows through this blog. I’ve put a lot of work into this. I only created it a few days ago.

I see parents with children and I simply can’t understand how they do it. I’m not having children but I have a two year old nephew who I love to bits. I watch my sister, who is an amazing mum, take care of him and it just drums it into me how I simply couldn’t do it. It’s a full-time job with night shift. It’s like chatting to strangers… I can do it but only in short bursts. I’m looking forward to when he gets to the age where we can interact and listen to music and do art together.

Published by aperfecttool83

I'm a 37 year old who lives in Melbourne Australia. I have many interests but I want to base this blog on my mental health. I have schizophrenia, depression & anxiety. I have 15 years experience with psychiatrists and I have had close to 20 hospital admissions. I plan on writing about my delusions, voices, paranoia, depression and how to deal with them psychiatrists :) I really hope this blog can help someone. Please feel free to contact me and I promise to get back to you. Have a nice day!

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