#014 – Diazepam – Valium

I’ve been on and off Valium for over 20 years. I’m now off it and can’t see myself getting back on it any time soon. I have it listed as one of the medications I can take whilst in hospital as needed during the day but I haven’t taken advantage of it. There’s a reason for this. The dose that’s written up is hardly worth taking. Psychiatrists rarely write up more than 10mg. This doesn’t touch my sides. My shrink and nurses would be horrified if they knew the dosage I take when I’m at home and left to my own devices. One of the issues I have with Valium is that if I take a dose – the following day I need to double that dose because it’s still in my system from the day before. So I double it. The next day comes along and I have to double up again. Before the week is over I’m taking up to 75mg! It’s at this stage I run out and have to wait to the end of the month for a new script. I hope that makes sense? I told my old shrink the dose I was taking and he said “SHIT… Did you piss the bed?”

I hear patients complaining and bagging the nurses for their Valium because they get withdrawals if they don’t get their 5 to 10mg! How the hell can they become so dependent on such a low dose? How can they continue to take the same tiny dose without quickly developing a tolerance? I told my psychiatrist to not even bother listing it in my chart. I wish I didn’t have this problem. I wish I could chill out on the recommended dose but for me it doesn’t work like that. I feel cheated! It’s meant to take the edge off peoples anxiety but I find this to be bullshit.

In hospital they try to push it on you. I’m sure the conspiracy behind this is to keep the patients docile and compliant. It’s used heavily in the alcohol rehab ward to help people coming off the piss but I find the complete opposite. When I take a large dose at home and do feel the effects, it increases my desire to drink? That’s when things become dangerous because it’s never a good idea to drink on meds and the other issue is it wipes your memory COMPLETELY. It’s a total black out!

At the end of the day I don’t miss it. If I’m really suffering a Clozapine dose does the job. The problem with Clozapine is that it comes with a list of side effects. I did a blog on this.

Published by aperfecttool83

I'm a 37 year old who lives in Melbourne Australia. I have many interests but I want to base this blog on my mental health. I have schizophrenia, depression & anxiety. I have 15 years experience with psychiatrists and I have had close to 20 hospital admissions. I plan on writing about my delusions, voices, paranoia, depression and how to deal with them psychiatrists :) I really hope this blog can help someone. Please feel free to contact me and I promise to get back to you. Have a nice day!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: